Sir Isaac Asimov and Christian Penis Worship

I get furious letters from creationists occasionally, letters that are filled with opprobrious adjectives and violent accusations.  The temptation is great to respond with something like this:  “Surely my friend, you know that you are right and I am wrong, because God has told you so.  Surely, you also know that you are going to heaven and I am going to hell, because God has told you that, too.  Since I am going to hell, where I will suffer unimaginable torments through all of eternity, isn’t it silly for you to call me bad names?  How much can your fury add to the infinite punishment that is awaiting me?  Or is it that you are just a little bit uncertain and think that God may be lying to you and you would feel better to apply a little torment of your own (just in case he is lying) by burning me at the stake, as you could have in the good old days when creationists controlled society?”

                                                                                                          ~Isaac Asimov~

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And... you are doing this to me because?...

On a loving note, let us talk about the Gospels.  First, the fact that the word looks very much like Go Spells, to the average Pagan, it has nothing to do with spells and everything to do with go!

Around the year 180 CE, a man named Irenaeus (yes, rhymes with 'Your Anus'), decided to write a book attacking all forms of Christianity that differed from his Penis-Centered Faith.  All other forms in his mind were heresies and most of these fit into what we now call Gnostic.

Why was Irenaeus so pissed about the Gnostic way of things?  Easy, they didn't see the Penis as the high-mighty god, and cherished the nurturing vagina as the brainier, co-creator to the penis.   This vagina knowledge was called Sophia.

The Gnostic faith also believed that all people would be reincarnated until they got it right, and so, Irenaeus and his penis really weren't necessary.  But the greatest problem the Christian church had with the Gnostic worshipers was they knew the wealthy would burn in hell for their greed, which, as we all know is what the Christian Faith of today is built on.

So yes, dear Truth Seeker, all Christians are going to hell for worshipping the Donald Trump/ Fox News penis faith.

You heard it here first.

The brought into being 
Gold and silver, 
Presents and money, 
Iron and other metals and all things of this sort. 

And the people who were attracted were led astray into troubles
And grew old
Experiencing no pleasure
And died
Finding no truth
Never knowing the true God.

This is the way that they enslaved all of creation
From the foundation of the world until now.

                                                 The Secret book of John