Living of Cancer

Everywhere I turn there seems to be a new successful cancer treatment.  A few weeks ago it was Proton Therapy, and just yesterday a pill that completely removed all the cancer cells in all the test subjects. Could I be cured just in the nick of time?  I once wondered that years ago, and here we are 2022 and I have lung cancer and will either cure myself or be cured by a treatment.  Today, I am still working on myself: Green tea, bitter melon, broccoli, carrots, vitamin B and C, oh, and most importantly, faith in my ability to cure this cancer by chanting Nam Myo Renge Kyo.  

I get a chest scan this Friday to see how aggressive the tumors are.  So there is still plenty of time to make a difference in the world.  Funny, but when I saw other people dying I thought, "Why are they bothering planting a tree?"  Now I see there is an enlightenment with dying,  an enlightenment from knowing you'll soon have more answers and wondering if there will be more questions?  Is it just the next level of the matrix? 

Either way, I'll put in a good word for you. 

 ~~ Eso Terry -- Living of Cancer.

Service to Others is the Answer my Friends, Love, is the Question.

June 6, no work today.  This is good.  I have time to commit myself in the "service of others."  This is something I should have done a long time ago.  Instead of chasing woman, drinking, and trying to obtain status in a world where such things are nothing more than an illusion, for in the end it is the love we make that matters.  

I did my morning chants facing my Buddhist mandala, or object of devotion as we call it.  I prayed and thanked for healing, and that the tumor cells in my body turn benign for this body that has the ability to create poison, has the ability to create medicine.  I ate some raw carrots, broccoli, and bitter melon as my bitter melon, ginseng, green tea steeped. 

I believe it is my faith that heals.  I believe it is my faith that guides me.  This Friday they scan my lungs to see what the tumors are doing.  In the meantime, I will visit and a member of my faith at the hospital today where he has been over the last few months from a stroke.  He has no one, no money, and no health insurance.  He will need medical care the rest of his life.  I will support him anyway I can without making a comment about healthcare in the USA.  

I have another struggling friend who is jobless and living in an apartment with government assistance.  I Venmo'd him twenty bucks last night so he can get some gas to go look for a a job.  

Service to others.  This is something I should have done a long time ago instead of chasing woman, drinkings, and trying to obtain status in a world where the only status there is, is love, or do I mean "Sacrifice?"  Is this what the whole Jesus writings were really about? Not so much the "dying" as the "sacrifice" itself?  Fiction or not, sacrifice is love now isn't it.  Wooo, I just blew my mind.


~~ Eso Terry - Living of Cancer.

Turn Off Gun violence: Turn Off The TV: a poem.

 More shootings and gun violence.  I'm so tired of this shit that I almost bought a gun to shoot my TV, but then realized I would be part of the problem and so, I just turned my TV off.  It worked!  No more gun violence in my life.  

I can't hear you! 

~~ Eso Terry

Hug an Oak Tree today.


It's June 1st and the Great Solar Wheel of the Yer is turned to the Summer Solstice.  Named for the ancient goddess Juno, who represented the goddess of the State, Love, and most notable, the woman.  Therefore, June is probably not a good month to pass a law to take away a woman woman's right to do what she wants with her body.  But I really don't concern myself with these power struggles the world gives us.  I may only have a few years left on this planet and want to see the beauty of being alive. The birds are singing outside my window, I have legs to walk, eyes to see, and ears to hear with.  Still, I wonder about things that have happened historically on this first day of June.  The day we use to celebrate hamadryads (female nature spirits who are believed to inhabit oak trees).  It was called Festival of the Oak Nymph in times past.  So hug an Oak Tree today, it will drive them mad. 

IN 1638 on this day an earthquake rocked Plymouth, Massachusetts.  It was the first time colonists in the New World had observed this phenomenon.  Can you imagine the look on the natives faces as they watch the Pilgrims praying to a god they had never heard of?  A goddess above the Oak Trees? 

~~ Eso Terry

A Freethinker in Jail for Blasphemy: Truth will Prevail.


On May 28th in 1882, G.W. Foote published an issue of The Freethinker that would land him in jail for the charges of blasphemy.  He would be the last person prosecuted under this law, of course, the bullshit prosecutions are still out there, but the names have changed. 
In May 1881, G. W. Foote began the radical magazine called The Freethinker.  In the first issue he wrote: “The Freethinker is an anti-Christian organ, and must therefore be chiefly aggressive. It will wage relentless war against Superstition in general, and against Christian Superstition in particular”.

Wow, isn't that something, if the New York Times or any other modern day publication read by mainstream U.S.A wrote that today there would be hell to pay.  So, G. W. Foote was definitely one hell of a man, in my humble opinion. 

His primary writings were parody and satire with weekly Bible cartoons:

In 1882 Foote was charged with blasphemy for having published these biblical cartoons. Two blasphemy prosecutions were brought against the issues of 28 May 1882.  Foote pleaded his case that "religion" was "myth" and for humans to obtain their humanist potential, we needed to stop following "myths" -- I paraphrase.  Of course, the Christian church controlled everything then as it does now and so Foote was sentenced to a year in prison.  

The good news is that just like all the right-wing laws they try pushing down our throats today with their radical-right-wing judges, the prosecution of Foote did nothing to stop progress: The Freethinker is still publishing truth over myth today.  

So stay strong people, we're winning and they know it, there will be setbacks, but in the end, Truth will win. 

 Can I get a hallelujah!  

~~ Dr TV Boogie

My Cancer Cure Program!

It is the 27th day of May and I am still stunned by the senseless killings of 19 children in a Texas grade school.  We all come into this life with a mission, a reason, and when that reason is done so are we.  I am not sure what the mission of those kids were, but I am sure they had one and completed it in their short time here.  This is why cancer doesn't matter to me, if I still have a reason to live, the cancer will wait.  And as I told you before, the blue Buddha came to me in a dream and so I know I am healing and will stay alive as long as I continue my mission.  I am chanting each morning that this body which can create a cancer cell, can heel a cancer cell.  Therefore, I chant that the recent spots they found on my lungs are smaller than they were the day before, and that they are not cancerous.  I then thank the heavenly deities for providing this.  I also pray that the medicine king will bring me the knowledge, doctors, cures, etc., that I need.  I drink green tea with bitter melon, ginseng, and honey each morning.  I also eat raw broccoli and carrots when I have it.  The bitter melon is an ancient Chinese cure that a Chinese healer told me about.  My body will heal if I have more work to be done here, and I do.  I am here to show you how I am surviving cancer through faith and works. The faith I speak of is the Mystic Law which saved my life over a year ago by alarming me to have my lungs checked.  I've told you about it before, how while chanting my chest began to hurt which caused me to go to the hospital where they found a cancer spot.  It amazed the doctors that I brought it to their attention so early.  I had part of my lung removed and have lived another year without cancer.  Now, it looks like there are more spots which could be cancerous.   I am not sure what I have left, if it is to share with you how my faith has saved me again, or how I know by chanting I am protected and will be here as long as I am needed.  Maybe just to share my cure with you, kind reader.  The faith I speak of is the Mystic Law.  To obtain it all you have to do is chant: Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Give it a try. 

Thoughts on Yesterday's School Shooting in Texas, Demand Truth.

More violence in a world where "violence" is a thing no matter how many of us there are who claim we aren't violent.  In a court case yesterday I watched a video of a calm man of Jesus losing his cool and saying, "Fuck you," to a person he was mad at.  In his statement he said that wasn't him, that he was a calm person who just wanted things to go smoothly.  Isn't that the case for all of us?  When things go smoothly we are calm.  When our side wins, we cheer.  When the other side wins, we resort to violence.  When Donald Trump was elected president I walked in the largest protest walk of my life in a woman's march.  When Joe Biden won the other side did the same, but led by hate and lies they resorted to violence. 

In Texas yesterday, a teenager killed 19 kids in a Texas school house.  Already the hate guys are saying its a liberal plot to take our guns a way.  This, my fellow American, is the reason we have so much violence in the USA.  It started with Rush Limbaugh lying about liberals and accusing them of being anti-American.  Then came Fox News with more of the same.  It was no longer politics, it was an invasion, an attack on Christian values, a new enemy more dangerous than the last, etc. 

Truth matters:  19 Children Killed in Texas School Shooting....

Until we have truth there will be violence.  So when you think it is a good idea to watch the Fox New's lies about the facts to make your guy/gal look good and the other guy/gal look evil, remember, there will be violence.  Divide and conquer is the plan, but neither side will go down without a fight.  When Vladimir Putin invades a country and calls it "peace," there will be violence. 

When I was in the Navy, I came across my first debate with a conservative.  He was telling me why he was voting Republican.   He knew I was already forming my liberal brain.  We talked for hours. He talked about the rights of people to govern themself and that less government was better.  He made sense and I left that conversation a more moderate person.  Truth does that.  Demand truth.  There is a true conservative augmentation; Donald Trump, Fox News, and Despotism is not it.  

Demand the truth:  Truth is: We are all in this together. 

Suicide is no longer an option, I'll take my fate.

"Hearing you have cancer at 62 isn't as bad as hearing you have it in your 20's or 30's."  

I told the doctor this yesterday, as he told me to wait until the next C Scan to see if the spots on my lungs are growing at an alarming pace.  An hour before meeting with the doctor I had texted a Cowboy friend of mine that I needed help in buying a handgun.  "Why?" he texted back. 

We both knew why.  

My mom laid in a Hospice bed in my living room for three months dying in a zombie state.   I changed her bedpan and wiped the feces off her body.  The last words she said to me was, "I am sorry you have to do this for me.  It isn't right."   Even in her morphine state, she felt shame.

I don't want to end up like that.  

That is what was going on in my head when I asked Cowboy Joe to help me buy a gun.  

As fate would have it, Mia, another friend texted me shortly after I had gotten home: "Michael is Dead. He shot himself in the head."

I guess the thought of taking my own life was in the ether because of Michael.  

Mia was a woman I had dated which turned into a lifelong friendship after we broke up.  She had been in a dysfunctional relationship with Michael for over three years.  I only heard from her when they were in breakup mode.  

She told me how she watched him do it and saw the gap in his head from the gun shot along with his protruding eyes as the life vibrated out his body with a jolt. 

I couldn't tell her that the same thought of suicide came across my mind a few hours earlier outside the doctor's office. 

I thought about my daughter or ex wife having to identify my exploded head.  That would be worse than changing my bedpan. 

I guess it will be better to die in a Hospice bed as mom had, if fate so dictates it. 

It's all an illusion anyway. 

~~ Eso Terry

Comparing Louis XIV with Donald Trump.


I'm not one to make a mountain out of a molehill, but I have to wonder about the Sun.  According to a CNN Science article, "The sun is experiencing a less active phase called 'solar minimum,'"
The article goes on to say: "...just like us, it (the Sun) goes through phases and changes. Over time, those changes in our star have become more predictable. Currently, it's going through a less active phase, called a solar minimum."

The sun experiences regular 11-year intervals including energetic peaks of activity, followed by low points. During the peak, the sun showcases more sunspots and solar flares.  Scientists at NASA say we're currently in a "Grand Solar Minimum." The last time this occurred was between 1650 and 1715.  

Curious on what the years 1650 to 1715 were about, I researched and found that those years are known historically as the Age of Louis XIV.  Louis ruled from 1643 to 1715.  The most notable events from this time was, war.  According to Wikipedia, France was the leading European power, and it fought three major wars: the Franco-Dutch War, the War of the League of Augsburg, and the War of the Spanish Succession. There were also two lesser conflicts: the War of Devolution and the War of the Reunions.  War was such a part of the time of Louis XIV that reference books such as An Encyclopedia of Global Warfare and Civilization by Cathal J. Nolan, write: "Dominated by the ambitions of France's King Louis XIV, Europe in the years 1650-1715 witnessed a series of wars from which emerged many of the theories, practices, and technologies that characterize modern warfare. 

Another interesting fact I found was that an outgoing French ambassador compared Trump to Louis XIV by saying that they were both "Unpredictable and uniformed."  That ambassador (Gérard Araud) went on to say:  “It is the end of an era, the era of neoliberalism. We don’t yet know what will succeed it,” Araud tweeted at 2 a.m. on the night Trump was elected. “After Brexit and this election, anything is possible. A world is collapsing before our eyes. Vertigo.”

Yes, Vertigo, the world of Donald Trump and Louis XIV.  Yesterday I told you the world under Dr Donald Trump is a world of chaos, but I think "Vertigo" is a better way of saying it. What are the other similarities between Trump and Louis XIV?  Take a seat, the similarities are Vertigo crazy. 

Hall of Mirrors, Palace of Versailles.

Trump’s triplex is a marble-and-onyx-covered ode to Versailles that he calls “comfortable modernism.” It is a $100 million penthouse that sits atop the Trump Tower on Manhattan’s 5th Avenue. (Scott Frances/Otto)

Louis XIV was known for his aggressive nature throughout his reign. He engaged France in wars that many historians look back on as unnecessary, and his foreign policy was less than forgiving. During the 1680s, Louis XIV generated public hostility, creating tension and stunting growth among France's rigid class system. 

In a visit to New York's Trump Tower, one is easily amazed at the grandeur of Donald's shrine to himself. The entire building sparkles, and overwhelms the senses through the sheer excess present; individuals can see themselves on every single wall and are painted with a bronze shadow that falls over the entire interior. Guards check bags at the door, and watch the elevator to make sure only those with IDs are heading to the top. Four floors of glitter are open to the public eye, but after that only the very rich may continue. No matter what floor you're on, everything screams Trump: Trump Grill, a signature Trump clothing line, and Ivanka Trump's small jewelry case. Everything shouts Trump's name, singing of his fortune and fame.

The similarities between the Sun King and The Donald are uncanny. Slightly obsessed with themselves and able to dedicate an entire building in their honors? Check. Causing chaos? Check. Looking back to the original architectural cues of both buildings, a continued amazement of self-obsession can be easily noticed, and further comparisons of the two leaders increase with time. Louis XIV was controversial, without much of a soft side.  Trump is, well, Trump.

So, yes boys and girls, we are in a Vertigo Time Warp also known as a Solar Minimum, and since it seems to be enjoying Trump as our leader, I bet you Trump becomes president again, and finally, they will have the world they want.  Or maybe, you will have the world you want.  Truth is: we get the world we deserve. 

Living of Cancer

Everywhere I turn there seems to be a new successful cancer treatment.  A few weeks ago it was Proton Therapy , and just yesterday a pill th...

Thanks For Being!

Thanks For Being!