Today, however, I want to talk about the good news of getting cancer. That's right, like anything else that is bad, there is some good. With cancer you don't have to worry about tomorrow anymore, that's right, that retirement account you didn't add enough money to when you had the chance doesn't matter now. Then that hole in the ceiling you've been putting off fixing, fuck it. Yes, these thoughts are now replaced with things you need to fix for when you are unable to fix things, like that bathroom toilet in your bathroom you stopped using years ago for the second bath down the hall. Need to fix it now so you won't have so far to walk when you are on those serious cancer meds that might make you toss your morning cookies, repeatedly.
Speaking of meds, how about some serious pain pills, they might help focus on things like the esoteric thoughts of Plato, that could be a plus.
Then those tools you didn't return and that money you never repaid, fuck it, take it with you to the grave, it will balance out in the next life.
Yes, dying of cancer does have some perks. The biggest perk is being able to blog about the other side, the great beyond, the land of light, and what can be more esoteric than this?