It's Friday the 15th. On this day in 1572, Hans Buchmann, a 50-year-old Swiss farmer was abducted by a UFO. According to my favorite toilet book: "Wonders in the Sky," Hans went missing on the night of November 15th and wasn't seen again until February 2, 1573 when he returned home dazed, confused, hairless. His wife and kids were astonished to see that he did not have a single hair on his head, his face or chin; and that his face was so swollen they didn't recognize him at first.
The authorities questioned Hans and here is his bizarre story:
As I was passing through the forest, I suddenly heard a buzzing sound. At first I thought it was a swarm of bees, but then I realized it sounded more like music. I was afraid, and was no longer sure where I was nor what was happening. I pulled out my knife and swiped at the air around me, losing my hat, gloves and coat in the process. Before losing consciousness, I could feel that I was being lifted up into the air. I was taken to another country. I was disoriented and confused, with no idea where I was. I felt pain and swellings in my face and head. Two weeks later I found myself in Milan, with no idea how I had gotten there.
Wow, that was way back in 1572 and recorded in the town's history. At the time they didn't know about UFO abductions like we do today and so they suspected fairies. That's right, they believed in fairy abductions back then. How silly, everyone knows fairies aren't real, but UFO's are.