It's March 19th and a bit of good news: the asteroid coming right for us that I told you about a few days ago missed us! So the only disaster in America today is still Donald Trump and his cult followers. Here's a some visuals of how close it came:

And in other news, stocks are down a little but Trump is about to speak and if you notice his use of the words "Big," "Hugh," "Great," etc. isn't working. Actually, the stocks seem to get worse every time he speaks? So, seems you can't govern by bullshit alone.
Here's a coinkydink in my news headlines. Seems both news stories use Trump terminology of "biggest" and "largest" and are about... beef.